Lets Talk About S**

CONSENT: WHAT IS IT AND WHY SHOULD YOU CARE

According to Planned Parenthood Sexual Consent is define as agreement to engage in sexual activity. Many people understand the concept of consent and do not know how to directly apply to their own lives.

The video linked below does a really great job of putting consent into a interesting perspective that people who have a hard time understanding consent can learn from.

Not all highschools teach consent and if they do the ideas of contunious consent are hardly touched on. One of the most important aspects of understanding consent is that it is ongoing. This means that a “yes” earlier that day, week or year implies a “yes” for further sexual acts. This same concept applies during sexual acts as well.

Anyone can decide that they do not want to continue with a sexual act even if they had previously said yes.

When proper education on consent is not taught to students there is a incresed chance of other people being placed in situations where they feel violated and taken advantage of by their partner. Additionally, if do not understand that you are allowed to say no or even that consent exists and is important there is a higher risk of being coerced into a sexual act that they are not comfortable with.

Beyond sexual encounters, consent is a essential part of our soceity in making sure that everyone feels respected and valued. This can come in to play when discussing someones pronouns and/or personal stories and expirences.

As said in my previous post there are many ways that you all can continue to educate yourself when you have questions. We can all learn more things every day and everything is a process of advancing our understanding of the world. Below I have linked some more videos that will help you better understand consent even better.

If you feel so inclined please consider donating to Planned Parenthood to help them educate our communities as well as providing healthcare.

DONATE HERE

IMPORTANCE OF PROPER LGBTQ+ SEX ED AND ADVOCATING FOR YOURSELF

As a person who does not identify as a member of the LGBTQ+ community I do not know if I can provide the most comphrensive eduction on this topic.

There is undeniably a clear difference in CIS/HET sexual education and LGBTQ+ sex ed within all schools. Not just private, not just public or any other. There is a clear difference that excludes many students from a conversation that most often is designed to help them.

When speaking to members of the LGBTQ+ community almost all of them felt that their identies were excluded in their educations. They may have talked about pronouns and the fact that the LGBTQ+ community exists but they most often did not go further than that.

This exclusion of entire communities when discussing sexual health is detrimental to the mental health of students as it invalidates their identies and existance within their schools.

I think that this is a really great time to talk about advocating for yourself and understanding the resources that are aviable to you. As a individual you can conduct your own research, even though I have made it clear that you should NOT have to do so sadly most schools do not teach inclusive sexual health.

You can find information on anything and everything over the internet.

Websites
Blogs (like this one)
Educational videos (Don’t go to porn, there are education videos out there that actually teach you about your body.)
Posters
Ads for in-person meetings regarding sex ed

Below I have linked two videos that I think will help further educate and help people within and outside of the LGBTQ+ community just what inclusive sex ed looks like.

I urdge every one of you to continue to ask questions and challange the intitutions that have taught you. By asking questions you are able to learn so much more about yourself, your community and so much more.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1z-WUlVIiX0

If you feel so inclined please consider donating to Planned Parenthood to help them educate our communities as well as providing healthcare.

DONATE HERE

CONTRACEPTIVES

Unknown to many people there are a variety of contraceptives outside of birth control or male condoms that prevent pregnancy and the spread of Sexually Transmitted Infections. It is important that you not only know what they are but that you know the functions they serve and what they look like. Through this infographic, I hope that it will help provide you with a better understanding of what all different kinds of contraceptives are and how to use them.

Now that you know what they look like let’s break them down!

IUD: IUD’s are placed in the uterus that kills off sperm and eggs before they can reach each other. Once it is put in, by a medical professional, you do not need to worry about keeping up with shots or pills. This acts as a contraceptive but not as a barrier to protect you against STIs!!!

Depo/Birth Control Shot: This shot released progesterone into the female body that prevents pregnancy. This is a good option for women who do not want to take a daily pill but do not want to get pregnant because they do not need to take the shots daily. It is about 99% effective. It is important to note that the Birth Control Shot DOES NOT prevent against STIs!!

“The Pill”: A daily pill that is taken which contains 2 different hormones, estrogen, and progestin that helps prevent you from getting pregnant. This method works 99.7% of the time. However, it is still possible that you could get pregnant. Typically you need to see a physician to get this method of birth control prescribed to you. Many women use birth control not just as birth control but to regulate their periods or to even help with their acne.

Male Condom: Commonly referred to as simply ‘condom’. Men, or individuals with penises externally put these over themselves to prevent sperm from reaching the egg which in turn prevents pregnancy. However, this is not the only use for male condoms. They are used as a form of protection to protect themselves and their partner(s) from contacting an unknown infection or disease. This means that not just heterosexual couples should be using this method but everyone should use it as a form of “safe sex”.

Internal/Female Condom: Similar to the Male Condom the internal condom or sometimes referred to as the female condom prevents pregnancy and the spread of STI’s. The only difference between these is that the person with a vagina wears them inside of their vaginas.

Dental Dam: Dental Dams are placed either over the vaginal area or around a penis during oral sex to prevent the spread of any infections or diseases.

The Implant: A 44mm rod that is placed in your upper arm. Needs to be put in by a professional. The Implant lasts up to three years and over 99% effective. Similar to other forms of contraceptives progesterone is apart of the implant that prevents pregnancy by thickening the lining of your cervical mucus.

Uva/Vaginal Ring: A physical ring that you place inside your vagina that releases progesterone and estrogen to prevent ovulation, making it hard to conceive. This method does not protect against STIs.

If you feel so inclined please consider donating to Planned Parenthood to help them educate our communities as well as providing healthcare.

DONATE HERE

THE IMPORTANCE OF COMPREHENSIVE SEXUAL HEALTH AND BREAKING DOWN STIGMA

There are many ways that comprehensive sexual health is defined and it is often up to the writer or reader to complete the definition for themselves. However, for these purposes I will be defining how the word comprehensive is going to be used.

Defining Comprehensive Sexual Health:

Human Development
- Puberty
- Sexual Orientation
- Gender Identity
- Reproduction
Social Culture
- Sex as perceived by the public
- Gender roles
- Diversity
Relationships
- Communication
- What is a positive and a negative relationship both sexually and non-sexually
- Dating
- Family relationships
- Romantic relationships
- Decision making
Sexual Behavior
- Ever evolving sexual identities over time
- Differing desires
- Abstiance (is a form of sexual health and should be taught ALONGSIDE other forms of birth control and sexual health)
Sexual Health
- STI/STD
- Contraceptives (The Pill, IUD, Female/Male condoms, The Implant, Spermicide Cream)
- Pregnancy
- Abortions

In the United States of America there are 50 states, however, only 24 of them are required by law to teach sex ed and within those 24 there are few requirements on what they need to say which leads to misinformation being spread according to Planned Parenthood. This misinformation is so detrimental to both the development of kids and their peers; it leaves them questioning themselves and results in them being scared to ask questions from their family or teachers.

As an educational institution, schools, public or private, should be held responsible for providing students with accurate and truthful information about their bodies and sex. Just as a history teacher would not teach that WWII did not happen, health educators should not be ignoring the topic of sex and impact that uneducated sexual activity has on students and their partners.

The National Association of School Nurses illustrates this wonderfully in a brief showcasing that evidence-based educational programs are beneficial to students in the long run. They state that healthy students are more likely to achieve academic success and if they are provided with the tools and education to succeed. They say that this is especially true for LGBTQ+ students.

“These findings demonstrate that LGB youth report a higher incidence of bullying at school or online, physical and sexual dating violence, drug and alcohol use, and suicide-related behaviors than their straight peers” according to the NASN.

This is an interesting topic because often LGTBQ+ sexual health is not taught in schools even if they are providing a ‘progressive’ sex edcuation in the other facets. It is not comprehensive unless it includes all aspects of secual health that students may encounter in their lives, whether it be themselves personally or someone they meet which would provide them the skills to have constructive conversations about identity that has a solid foundation of understanding. By educating on LGBTQ+ sexual health it aids in eliminating the shame culture that is associated with talking about sex but specifically LGBTQ+ sex and keeps people from this community from being othered within soceity.

Not only does a lack of education or absitnance only education impact students willingness and comfortableness to discuss sex outside of the classroom and promots shame culture, it fails to teach them how to stay safe when/if they chose to engage in any sort of sexal act. Which increases their chances of contracting a sexually transmitted infection of disease.

Without comprehensive sexual health, not only is the educational aspect lost, but shame culture continues to be perpetuated. However, American University Professor Lauren Weis says that comprehensive sexual health often ignores the positives of sexual encounters and says that it is a systemic problem within society that we tend to ignore this fact.

“Whatever one’s sexual identity, enjoyments, desires there is a culture in which we stigmatize discussions of sex and sexuality produces shame no matter what a person enjoys.” Weis says.

Weis highlights the fact that in order to truly achieve comphrensive sexual health, school curriculms should focus not just on the risks of sex, but the positive, enjoyable moments with it as well to remove the negative connotations associated wiht sex overall. Though comprehensive sexual health it is moving in the right direction, it still has aspects that could be given more attention or adjustments that make it more inclusive and less stigmatized by ‘progressive’ society.

American University Freshman Annmarie Melsheimer said that her Sexual Education, at her all girls catholic high school, did not stop at abstinence education but evolved into natural forms of birth control with failed to address many of the actual issues associated with uneducated and unprotected sex.

“We had a morality class and they taught us natural family planning. My interpretation of it is that it’s, no contraceptives of any kind, no condoms, nothing. You plan it around your period and when you’re ovulating and that’s how you get pregnant. And then when you don’t want to get pregnant, have sex on the off times,” Melsheimer said. “Whenever God wants you to have a child, then he’ll let you have a child. If you’re not planning on it and you do like it’s God’s plan.”

Teaching women to trust their bodies and to understand the messages it is sending to them is great but natural family planning is not a good nor effective form of birth control. When students fail to understand not only the consequences but a general overarching understanding of their bodies and see themselves as sexual beings shame culture is brought to the forefront. Apart from the shame associated with this, Natural Family Planning has issues of its own that are not addressed by many. The success rate of Natural Planning at preventing pregnancies is approximately 90% according to familydoctor.org but is still not a fullproof plan to prevent pregancy and it ignores the impact that unprotected sex has for the spread of STI’s and STD’s. However, Natural Family Planning is a form of birth control that conforms to many religious expectations and is a good form if you do not wish to use contraceptives. But students should be provided with all of the options that are available to them instead of being pushed into a box or being told that there are only two paths that are available to you.

Clearly the benefits of comprehensive sexual health outweigh the negatives in the breadth of information that is able to be touched on with comphrenive sed ed and the numerous positive impacts that it has on not only the physical well being of the students but their mental health as well. There are still many things that need to be addressed within comprehensive sexual health, such as changing the social narrative and perspective on shame culture; but comphrensive sexual health as many students see it today has a much greater positive impact on the students than other forms or sex ed such as absitiance only or none at all.

If you feel so inclined please consider donating to Planned Parenthood to help them educate our communities as well as providing healthcare.

DONATE HERE

MY SEX ED EXPIRENCE

While you may not immediately associate comprehensive sexual health with St. Louis Park, Minnesota you may be surprised by my personal experience in my hometown public school district. I always knew how fortunate I was to receive such a well rounded and in-depth education that taught me so many things just beyond the biology and physcial aspects of sex, but I did not fully understand how fortunate I was until I went off to college and met so many people who recieved little to no education at all. Looking back on my experience I now recognize the well structured curriculum that was set in place from elementary school that shaped my view of not only sexual health but sex in general.

The first time I remember recieving “the talk” about sex was from my 5th grade teacher Mrs. Blumer in a jam packed room of all of the 5th grade girls at my small elementary school. We were sat down and talked about our bodies, periods and more changes that we were about to go through as we entered middle school the following year. While I recognize that this information was delivered to me through a pretty non-inclusive, cisgender and heterosexual perspective, it was still a good baseline introduction to sexual health and positive discussions about our bodies. While I may not have understood it at the time, introducing “the talk” into an educational setting at this point in my life was vital in shaping my initial perspective on my own body and made me more comfortable talking about sex in general. I remember going home that night and receiving the real “talk” from my parents because I was even more curious and began asking a lot of inquisitive questions that my parents could no longer ignore.

The following years throughout middle school were more focused on our developing bodies and evolving identities with an emphasis on constructive conversations. This is where we learned physical anatomy as well as personal wellness and self care. This was the first time we recieved education on teh anatomy and make up of the opposite sex in a co-ed classroom. as you can imagine, a room filled with middle schoolers looking at diagrams of sexual organs did not go over as sophistically as my teachers may have wished but I believe that we all got a basic understanding of reproductive anatomy and a basline understanding of what sex is and how it biologically works. I found this to be a good transition from a basic understanding and knowledge of our bodies into mature and constructive conversations about sex, consent and contraceptives which set the stage for further discussions about LGBTQ+ communities, STD/STI’s, advanvced contraceptives and deeper meaningful conversations about personal identies and choices we make in our sexual lives.

When I reached high school was really when my sexual education ramped up dramatically. My teacher had no shame and was ready to make students feel uncomfortable in the name of education. We had 3D models on 3D models of genitalia in which we practiced putting on both male condoms and female condoms, skits about the menstrual cycle, presentations on all types of birth control including the IUD, the implant or the Depo shot. We also had a whole entire year that was dedicated to mental health and STD/STI education that highlighed the interation between mental health and STD/STI’s and how they relate to sex ed and the practical applications of it. Above all, the best part about this class was the anonymous question time at the end of class that held no judgement and acted as a safe space for all students.

Here are some of my favorite questions I recall:

Does it hurt when a guy ejaculates inside of a girl? Doesn’t it come out at about 20 miles an hour??
What does the A stand for in LGBTQA+
What is the clitrios?
Can girls just go about their day with an internal condom inside of them?
What exactly is a period and how do girls deal with it?
Can you get pregnant from a toilet seat or hot tub?

While these may seem like silly questions they are legitimate ones that students wanted answered for themselves which is an important part of learning. Contuining to ask questions is a part of continuous learning and my sex ed teacher did a wonderful job of encouraging us to ask questions no matter how stupid we may have thought they were, which was instrumental in building a foundation of trust and confidence when talking about sex, gender and idenity.

Despite the positive association I have with the sexual education I received there are some things that could be altered. Across the board sexual education focuses on the negatives of having sex and the preventaive measures that can be taken but the positives of sex and sexual pleasure and even with comphrensive sex ed paints sex as something that should be more shameful than pleasurable and fun. This is a topic that if changed, in my mind, would do a lot more good in changing the standard outlook on sex and sexual education as a whole.

Overall, I believe that I had a really well rounded and comprehensive sexual education that covered many of the basics and delved deeper into the ones that built on what we already knew. Due to this I have been provided with the knowledge that encourages me to ask questions beyond what already know and to be comfortable talking about it with others. I plan to use this knowledge to help others who were not as lucky as I was to receive such comprehensive sexual education.